Hari was one of my little sister's best friends and therefore very much a part of our lives. They were a very close group, my sister Zuli, Shirley, Veronica, Sherine, Joanne, June and Hari, and what a sweet-natured, gentle, trusting group of people they were in spite of my attempts as big sister to bully them to distraction!

I have an overriding mental image of Hari in her school uniform - a bright blue pinafore and white blouse - all thin arms, legs and huge huge eyes walking up our driveway hand in hand with my somewhat rounder little sister after school. She never really changed, the skirts got a little shorter perhaps, but Hari never really changed.

I would like to share if I may, thoughts and memories of Hari that have been gleaned from this group of young women who shared many years with Hari and who went on to forge deep and lasting friendships amongst themselves.

Harinder would come at us with arms outstretched and her bright shining eyes infused with a look of irrepressible mischief. Her wicked sense of humour added a great deal of colour to our lives, she was especially adept at egging us on to commit some naughtiness. She was creative - she had to be as she could never quite organise her pens, pencils and stationary whilst at school and throughout her degree. Hari was regularly seen substituting her Malaysian identity card for a ruler!

She was also game for virtually anything, especially for a laugh, never missing an opportunity to wind someone up whilst remaining absolutely po-faced.

This was balanced by a quiet and reflective side so much so that you would never have suspected that she was a leading theatrical trooper at school with her fair share of leading dramatic stage appearances.

For all her electrifying qualities, Hari had a certain vulnerability about her that endeared her to our mothers. Now, as some of us have become mothers ourselves, we understand that their hearts went out to a little girl who had lost her own mother at the age of 6 years.

She faced more challenges in her life than we her friends were ever faced with but they did not faze her. The high times shared in the early years were restricted to the hours we enjoyed together in school. As a young teenager Hari had immense responsibilities which kept her away from the carefree life the rest of us enjoyed but she tackled her duties with characteristic tenacity and excelled academically. She was for example the top A-level student in the State of Kelantan in Malaysia. She commanded our admiration and respect.

June, one of her very best friends, has sent me a poem for Hari on behalf of her and her family which brought them comfort when June suffered a similar bereavement which I know you, Martin, will recall. Here is a passage from it:

"I could not stay another day Tasks left undone must stay that way If my parting left a void then fill it with remembered joy Perhaps my time seemed all too brief Don't lengthen it now with undue grief My life's been full, I've savoured much Good friends, good times, my loved one's touch"

Harinder did not just want to improve herself and her lot in life, she set out to do it. Her achievements were the result of conscious and conscientious efforts in the pursuit of excellence; she carried little cards with her goals clearly articulated and would refer to them regularly. She was quite simply, inspiring.

Speaking for myself, Fergus and I met Hari for the last time this summer and I was struck by how much at ease she was with herself, how she luxuriated in her role as wife and mother. She was very definitely head over heels in love and was deeply loved in return. Over a Malaysian meal on the Edgware Road I was entertained by her account of how she had met Martin and to paraphrase old Tommy Cooper they were in love "just like that." She threw her naturally reticent nature in affairs of the heart to the wind and was delighted to find that Martin felt the same. And in Ravi she has left us all the most precious of legacies.

Finally I would like to conclude with a short Malaysian poem composed by my father in memory of our much-loved friend.

"Kasihmu sayang selasih kami, Kami menumpang melabur lada Tidak terpisah kasihnya sayang Terkenang-kenang selama-lamanya."

These were the words of a wife and a mother to her loved ones and simply translated they mean:

Our devotion enthused our lives,
We built a most wonderful life together my darlings,
That life and our love have not been severed but will be borne within us for eternity.

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